Your Guide to Surviving Divorce

After 12 years of marriage, my ex wife Amy and I decided that it was finally time to end the long hard road we had traveled on for several years now. We got married and were truly in love for many years but we both began to change in many ways and our lives started to take us in different directions.

We eventually grew apart and often did not see eye to eye. We were constantly arguing and couldn’t seem to agree on anything. We believed that it wold be much better for our kids if we ended the marriage and lived separately.

Our 11 year old son Jacob was very hurt by our decision. We talked to him about the situation in terms that we thought he would have been able to understand. Once he knew that I was moving out I could see the hurt and resentment in his eyes. He thought I was leaving him, not his mom. (more…)

My wife Amy and I knew that this divorce would be difficult on everyone involved. It seemed to be especially hard on our daughter Sarah.

Sarah was the typical 13 year old girl before the divorce. She had her close friends that she shared laughs and secrets with and loved to take part in the drama club at school. She loved visiting the mall and checking out the new fashion trends as she was very fashion forward. All of that was great and then the divorce happened.

Our vibrant Sarah suddenly turned into an angry and scared little girl. She seemed to have lost her excitement for life and was in a state that was very close to depression. Amy and I had to do something to help her out. (more…)

All I can say is that this divorce definitely played havoc on my entire family. My ex-wife Amy and I had our struggles during the 12 years we were married. At the end we were fighting more than we were talking.

We tried married counseling but came to a mutual agreement that divorce was the best option for us. It sounds pretty simple when you read it but our daughter Sarah had a really hard time understanding what was going on and why it had to happen.

She was always active in her school drama club and had a few close friends that she talked to on a regular basis. Her world was really disrupted when we told them about the divorce. (more…)

Anyone that has ever been through a divorce when they had young kids at home can tell you that the task is not a simple one. Even though Amy, my ex wife, and I knew that it was best for us and the family, our kids had a difficult time accepting it. While we had our challenges with them all, our youngest son Matthew presented us with different problems.

Soon after the divorce I moved to a small apartment about two hours from where my ex and the kids live. I was at my mom’s house taking care of her lawn when I got a call from my ex wife. Matthew had gotten sent home from school again because he was sick to his stomach and had a headache. This had become a very frequent occurrence and Amy and I were getting very worried. It was time to get him to the doctor.

After meeting with the pediatrician on a couple different occasions we had finally decided to take a different route. (more…)

Going through a divorce when you have three very loving, very impressionable children is not an easy feat. This is something that I discovered when my wife Amy and I decided that after 12 years of marriage we were finally ready to admit that our marriage was over. While the divorce had its effects on all of us, our son Jacob was having a really hard time with his emotions.

Jacob has always been an average student. He plays football for his school and does a really good job at it. When the divorce was final and when I moved two hours away from his mother, his brother and his sister, he was left feeling alone and forgotten. He was very angry at me and felt like I had abandoned him. (more…)

One thing that I discovered going through my divorce is that it affects not only my ex-wife Amy and I, but also our children. My 8 year old son Matt has always been a strong, independent, team player.  He is the captain of his soccer team and is very active with Boy Scouts. Since the divorce however, Matt has started to bully other kids around.

After spending considerable time talking with him, I discovered that he was struggling with an important decision. He thought that he needed to decide which side he was on, his mothers or mine. (more…)

To say the divorce was hard on everyone in our family would be an understatement. After all, Amy and I were married for 12 years and we have three wonderful children.

Our life became really difficult quite some time before the divorce. We tried counseling but it just made Amy and I realize that we were better off apart. That didn’t mean that we were leaving the love that we shared for our children though.

My middle child, Jacob, is eleven years old. He took the divorce very hard. We tried to explain the situation to him as best we could as we did with all 3 children. They all reacted differently to the news and are all handling it in their own individual ways.

As for Jacob, he has become distracted and withdrawn. It is to the point that we got a call from his teacher the other day who told us that his grades have began to suffer and they are threatening to suspend him from the football team unless his grades improve. (more…)

My daughter Sarah, who is now the “wise” age of 13, had a tough time with our divorce. While she had the drama club and her close knit circle of friends, she really had some tough feelings towards the whole divorce thing.

The downfall of our marriage caused Sarah to begin to worry about her future. She became very cautious about getting close to anyone and said that she was afraid of getting involved in any relationships. She even said that she would never get married.

Amy and I knew that it was our jobs as parents to help her get her through these fears. We needed to help her understand that just because her mother and I did not stay together, it didn’t mean that we didn’t love and cherish each other very much while we were married. And it certainly did not mean that our daughters relationships would fail. We knew it would not easy at this point, but…… (more…)

Ever since the divorce, Matthew (my 8 year old) has been acting very stressed. My ex-wife Amy and I are both more than a little concerned.

I talked with other divorced friends of mine and they said that they went through a similar situation. Then it hit me……of course our children feel the effects…just as much as we do….maybe even more. I now realize that it is normal for kids in elementary school to feel very scared and anxious after a divorce.

Matthew has recently started to wake up with nightmares. In the same day, he can go from being happy to having temper tantrums. He told me that he wanted his mom and I to get back together. I wish I could have gave him the answer he wanted to hear but that just isn’t an option. (more…)

Of all my kids, my 13 year old daughter, Sarah, seems to be displaying the worst behavior at the moment (that changes from time to time).

When Matthew slammed his fist through the wall the other day, she actually smiled and said, “Way to go, Matthew!” Even though she was being sarcastic, it was almost as though she was trying to encourage her brother to continue acting out.

She often gives me mean looks when I am near and she frequently goes to her room, slamming her door and shouts at me to leave her alone if I knock on her door to talk to her. (more…)