How Does Divorce Affect Teenagers?

My wife Amy and I knew that this divorce would be difficult on everyone involved. It seemed to be especially hard on our daughter Sarah.

Sarah was the typical 13 year old girl before the divorce. She had her close friends that she shared laughs and secrets with and loved to take part in the drama club at school. She loved visiting the mall and checking out the new fashion trends as she was very fashion forward. All of that was great and then the divorce happened.

Our vibrant Sarah suddenly turned into an angry and scared little girl. She seemed to have lost her excitement for life and was in a state that was very close to depression. Amy and I had to do something to help her out. We began attending family counseling sessions with Sarah and her siblings. This is where we found out that Sarah was feeling guilty about our divorce.

[pullquote]It was our children that were affected the most by our divorce and it impacted them all differently. Sarah blamed herself and thought that if she would have been a better person, we would still be together. At that moment we knew that we were going to have many difficult months ahead. Over time and with a lot of talking and reassuring, our children have adapted very well to the divorce and have returned to their old habits and routines.[/pullquote]

She had somehow gotten the idea that she was responsible for our fall outs. She thought that if she had been better in school or had helped out more at home then we would not have gotten a divorce. It was then that I realized that my little girl loved us and really wanted to change the outcome so that we could be a family again.

It was important for us to talk to her and let her know that while her mother and I did once love each other that we have both decided that it was best end the marriage. Amy and I spent a great deal of time with her one on one, just walking and talking or simply holding her while she cried. Once we were able to show her that we were not going away and that we would be a part of her life forever we started seeing signs of the old Sarah. The fun loving and carefree girl that was once there had reappeared.